Thursday, October 15, 2009

Backing Things Up

A few weeks ago, the screen went black on my beloved laptop.  To my dismay I found out that I needed a new hard drive.  A new hard drive was installed into my computer to get it running again.  Thankfully all was not lost... I had most of my information backed up on an external drive. 

Sometimes life can be like my defective hard drive.  You are minding your own business trying to make it through the day and BAM!...an unexpected event re-routes your entire day.  Unfortunately, most of us do not have a back up drive for life.  For me a backup drive represents a place or a person where I can go to recover some of the pieces of my life. 

In dealing with life's conflicts, don't forget to nurture the external drives and drivers in your life.  For some of us that means time spent with family or friends.  For others, it's participating in a favorite hobby that allows us to regroup.  Whatever it is, nurture it. 

Some of the most difficult people to negotiate with are those that lack an "external drive".   For them, minor conflicts become major points of contention.  They lack perspective and are unwilling to take a look at the conflict from their opponents point of view.  Their focus is on the destroyed hard drive that cannot be fixed rather than what could be restored with a visit to the backup drive.  Remember: All is never lost.  If there is still life in your body, there is a chance for renewal and resolution.

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Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Heroes

This week I caught up with one of my favorite shows, Heroes.  From season one I have been hooked on this reinvention of the super hero genre.  Unlike superman, batman, justice league, and various others, these heroes strive to maintain their humanity while living with the secret of superhuman gifts.  There are no tights or capes.  Just people trying to figure out how to live with the reality of having amazing gifts. 

In the midst of everyday conflicts, it is not uncommon to desire a hero.  Someone who can come in and save the day.  Someone who will listen to our problems.  Someone who can right the wrongs of our lives.  Often times, that hero never appears.  We are left to ponder the realities of our situation alone.

In mediation and in life, often times the hero that you seek is yourself.  Waiting for someone to come and give you the answer to life's questions is generally not a good plan.  In his book, "The Art of Leadership",  J. Donald Walters says, "Almost any action is preferable to prolonged inactivity, born of indecision."  Many of us are paralyzed by the the possibility of what might happen rather than facing that which is already before us.

When you are faced with a conflict or an obstacle in your life, be bold!  Stop, think and analyze the problem.  Ask yourself, "what are the consequences of my actions?"  What are the consequences of the other persons actions?  What outcome would I like to have?  What choices can I make to insure that my desired outcome comes to fruition?


Once you have made the proper considerations, make a plan of action.  This is the most important part, follow through with the plan.  After you face the problem and resolve it, you will realize that you are the hero that you seek. 

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About This Blog

The Thomas Cox Mediation Group is committed to helping individuals and companies resolve their conflicts using alternative dispute resolution. We believe there is a mediation solution for every season of life. This blog discusses all the issues that affect our lives and practical ways in which to resolve them. In short, all about mediation and life. Please don't hesitate to comment on any of the posts. We love to hear from you.

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