Effective Communication

Great mediation requires effective communication. But what makes communication effective? In my opinion, it requires the exchange of a clear message from one person to another. The hearer of the message should be able to understand that which has been stated and respond with an equally clear message. This level of understanding between feuding parties is necessary to have a chance at conflict resolution.

One of my biggest lessons on effective communication is from teaching. Prior to the start of a semester, I prepare lectures and make assignment schedules. Preparation includes evaluting what teaching methods worked, and which ones need tweeking. The evalution process is important because sometimes as an instructor, I relay information in a way that I believe is clear. Sometimes, during a lecture, I look at the faces of my students and I realize that I am not as clear as I thought. When this happens, I can either view my students as the problem or I can evalute myself and make some adjustments. I choose the latter.

In an article entitled "Effective Interpersonal Communication" by Alan Sharland he states nine steps to effective communication:

1. Treat each other with respect
2. Do not interrupt each other
3. Each person has a right to pass
4. Do not volunteer others
5. Only speak for yourself
6. Do not speak too often or too long
7. Challenge the behavior and not the person
8. Respect confidentiality
9. It is ok to make mistakes.

I like this list because it is applicable to both mediation and every day interpersonal communication. The next time you have a conflict with a co-worker or your spouse, consider the above stated steps. You may not have an impartial third party to mediate your dispute, but you can utilize this steps to maneuver through the conflict.