The Need for Connection

“Our connections are best when they are truthful, and our truth is best when we are connected.” ( Boundaries Face to Face, by Dr’s Cloud and Townsend)

About a week ago I was working in my home office. My husband was upstairs working at his desk and I needed to ask him a question. Instead of yelling upstairs or walking upstairs to have face to face conversation, I picked up my Blackberry and texted him. He in turn responded via text message. After a minute of rapid fire texting, I decided to go upstairs and actually talk to my husband face to face. Ladies and gentlemen, I am ashamed to say that I am caught in the matrix of technology. Though our modern devices are designed to keep us connected, in many ways, we seem to be moving further apart.

When I read the quote listed above, I was struck by the wisdom of this simple sentence. As our society moves further away from face to face communication, it becomes more difficult to discern truth from fiction. Transactions that were once completed with a handshake are now completed via email and fax. Misunderstandings and allegations of untruthfulness are not easily cleared up because there is a lack of connection between the parties. Now, more than ever, there is a need for simple, clear, straightforward communication.

Mediation is a great tool to facilitate the reconnection of people on the opposite side of conflicts. In mediation, both sides get to air their grievances. No emails, no faxes, just the spoken word between two interested parties. Also present in the room, is an impartial referee to blow the whistle when the exchange becomes too heated. If an agreement is reached at the end of a session, both parties walk away having resolved their problems. If an agreement cannot be reached, each side can still walk away with a clearer vision of their opponents position on the conflict. How many times has a Tweet or an instant message given you that same satisfaction?