In Search of the Common Chorus

I just watched a clip from this year's World Science Festival. I saw a pop culture icon from the 90s, Bobby McFerrin (of "Don't Worry Be Happy" fame) doing a musical demonstration of a pentatonic scale. A pentatonic scale is a musical scale with 5 pitches per octave. Mr. McFerrin taught the audience one such scale and amazingly, the audience of scientific minds performed like a melodic chorus. He went on to say that no matter where he is or the type of audience that is present, the same melodious chorus always happens. (You can see the actual clip at: http://vimeo.com/channels/staffpicks#5732745).

As a former band & choir geek, I couldn't help singing along with the 3 minute clip. Maybe Mr. McFerrin is right. Maybe we are all neurologically wired to search for a common chorus. Though I don't have the scientific proof to back it up, I think we are also neurologically wired to try to resolve our conflicts.

We all have different ways in which we react to conflict. Some are classic avoiders and are always backing away from confrontation. Others tackle conflicts head on and are totally open and direct. I think most of us fall somewhere in between these two extremes. But no matter the reaction to conflict, the fact remains that it is a part of life and we each have to learn how to deal with it.

Mediation is a good tool for resolution because it can be adapted to different personality types. Having an impartial third party to help wade through the secondary issues and get to the heart of the matter is invaluable in a negotiation. All sides to a conflict need to not only hear but listen to their opponent. This is particularly true when there are two parties that react differently to conflict. Without the mediator, an avoider may feel bullied by the more direct opponent. In turn, the more direct person may feel ignored by the avoider. Either way, a skilled mediator can help very different sides take the steps toward permanently resolving their conflicts.